Loss & Love

I tend to lose things easily. Strangely enough, it is not because I am careless. Rather, on the contrary, I treasure every little thing too much, so much so that I hide them.

And I forget where I hid them.

Then I grieve for the loss of these little things. And i procure more things to fill the void.

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People. They are the same to me too except I can’t hide or file them away in a special corner. (Or maybe I could?)

Sometimes, one can love another too much. Say for example, my baby niece, M1. She is my everything…this must be the purest form of love and adoration. And my nephew, Cj. Oh how I love to smell his head ALL the time. His smile never fails to light up the room for me. There is another niece, M2. We’re still working on our relationship…we’re not quite there yet. (But I still love M2 very much except that we get angry at each other really easily. [She is 2 and very immature, really]).

This must be love. There is no in-between, no grey area. With so much love comes pure pain…when loss is amplified. How do you fill up the gap of someone in your heart? Someone whom you love with all that sinewy muscles within that chest cavity?

That’s right. A cavity is what loss is. A hole. A space that can never be replaced.

I promise myself to love fiercely because when a cavity forms, at least I would have enjoyed all the lovely bits.

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