Of Escapism and Growing pains

I could remember 11 August 2011 very well.

I climbed up six flights of stairs; with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol hanging in the air. I knocked on the blue wooden door, waiting in anticipation to start my new job after completing my studies in Melbourne, Australia.

The door did not open. I waited.

I was full of hope; believing that the Universe had heard my wishes.  I spent the last few days of the 2o11 Australian winter thinking about what and where I want to work; and as luck would have it; i did end up having what i wanted.

The door finally opened. A grouchy lady opened the door and asked if I was making a courier service. I said that I was reporting for my first day of work. She then turned around and shouted to the back of the office, “DID ANYONE HIRE A NEW PERSON?”

So it has been five, long years. 11 August 2016 was like any other day except that this phrase from Night Flight kept appearing in my mind, floating in and out as I make my way around the world:

“We do not pray for immortality, but only not to see our acts and all things stripped suddenly of all their meaning; for then the utter emptiness of everything reveals itself.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

That utter emptiness floods me; carrying me into a mode of flight and escapism.
But even that unfortunate emptiness is part of me, my belonging and my burden.

***

“When we find a purpose that is bigger than ourselves, we become more powerful in our ability to create.” – Jack Delosa

Five years is a long time. I should snap out of those growing pains. (I have, really.)

It’s time for me to find that purpose.

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